Bird Poop!!!

Mostly Humorous.

LOL Emails!!!

I am not sure what we did before email, but I don't think reading unexpected letters was a lot of fun. I have a few correspondents who keep me entertained from their stream of funny emails. Those emails are not just Ha-Ha jokes, but a particular and rather peculiar variety which I find quite enjoyable.
Yesterday, my cousin sent me the results of a class test: 26 students, each of whom only six years old, were given half of a well-known proverb and asked to complete it. What they came up with is not just astonishing but rather clever and very funny. Here are a few of their results:-
  • Strike while the bug is close.
  • Never underestimate the power of termites.
  • No news is impossible.
  • Don’t bite the hand that looks dirty.
  • A miss is as good as a Mr.
  • The pen is mightier than the pigs.
  • An idle mind is the best way to relax.
  • Where there’s smoke there’s pollution.
  • A penny saved is not much.
  • Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.
  • When the blind lead then get out of the way.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, get new batteries.
  • Two’s company, three’s the Musketeers.
And the winner of this strange amalgam of proverbs : Better late than pregnant!!!
There is another mail which I particularly liked, this one from an online friend of mine. What he has sent are quite intriguing questions. You have to think of the answers as you read the following selection:
  • Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
  • Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  • Why does no one say ‘It’s only a game’, when their team is winning? 
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? (LOL What????!!!)
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 
  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 
  • If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean the other one enjoys it? 
  • If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes? 
  • Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours? 
  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? 
And here too, my favourite : How important does a person have to be before he is considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 
Sure enough, we didn't had this sort of entertainment dose in the age of snail-mail!

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