Bird Poop!!!

Mostly Humorous.

The Twelve Ages!

Everybody is aware of the great play-wright William Shakespeare. Yeah, he was guy with a taste for literature. He wrote tons of stuff,  among which there is a poem (or rather a monologue) The Seven Ages, mentioned in As You Like It. It compares the world to a stage and life to a play, and catalogues the seven stages of a man's life: infant, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, pantaloon, and second childhood, "sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything". But hey, I think that instead of just explaining the stuff, he should have told us what exactly to do in those seven ages. Well that's what I am going to do now........

First thing first. I am not Shakespeare, so I am not going to divide the life into seven stages. I am doing something more practical, dividing it into twelve age groups, so that folks out here can easily identify themselves as a member of a specific group and follow the instructions. So behold, here are The Twelve Ages:-
Age 0 to 1 years - Get born. If you get stuck-your most likely going to become overweight in life. Be able to perform these simple steps: Eat, Sleep, Poop, Repeat!
Age 1-5 years - Learn the basics of humanity such as talking, walking, pooping in civilised places etc etc. Also learn basic human interaction skills and how to have a fit at the shopping mall in order to obtain certain candy or toys.
Age 5-10 years - Bum around. Don't really have to accomplish anything in life at this moment.
Age 10-15 years - Begin puberty and get growth spurts. If you began before this time, then good for you. Choose a class that is going to stick with you till you reach 20.  Eg. Hip-Hop, Basketball , Gaming, Book Club etc etc.
Age 15-20 years - Mature and learn the benefits of partying and ill-effects of hangover.
Age 20-25 years - More bumming around. Decide what you want to do in life but still stick to partying. 
Age 25-40 years - Get a real job instead of working at some fast food outlet. Also, find a true love (if you already have one then its excellent) and get married.
Age 40 - 50 years - Suffer mid life crisis. Keep a lookout for heart-diseases and diabetes.
Age 50 -70 years - Get old. If you are staying young, there is a problem and go see doctor. Start hating young people and begin using the phrase "back in my days". 
Age 70-80 years - Prepare to die or die. 
Age 80-100 years - Still not dead? 
100+ years - Crap, just sit there and rot slowly? Congratulations on making high score list. 


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