Happiness!!! Go Share It!

I have been thinking of writing about this for over a month now, ever since I came to know about it, but well its here now.

On a sunny and rather hot morning of April, I was reading through MIT Blogs (which I do often) when I cam across this rather informative article. It was about something called Project Happy Memory. It's a fantastic thing (as I see it) created by Christina (I don't know her last name), a MIT alum.This website asks users to simply post their happiest memories on its page, so that it could be shared with everyone else who stumbles on that site.It an excellent way to share some smiles, which I am sure are needed everywhere.

Visit that site, read the memories of various personae there, and then, share your own. Its always good to spread smiles and happiness, ain't it? Well, as the header on Project Happy Memories' page proclaims :-

Happiness was born a twin; to have joy, one must share it.

Here I am sharing a memory which I particularly happened to like from that site. It's written by a guy called Jason, and is rather touching in it's own way. Here it goes :-

Summa Cum Laude
The day of my sister’s college graduation dawned warm and bright. My mood, though, was anything but: I was feeling, as is my wont, pretty down on myself, and I dreaded having to sit through a long ceremony. Then, at the entrance, we were handed our programs, and I saw something that melted my heart and made all the external pressures disappear for the day. As the ceremony progressed, it came time to give out special awards. Only one person in the graduating class was getting a degree summa cum laude. The head of the college gave a speech extolling the virtues and abilities of this person, and when my sister stepped up, grinning, to accept her medal, I looked at her favorite teachers and saw the pride and affection in their eyes. She had attended a small liberal arts school, and it was clear that everybody here knew her and loved her, that she would be truly missed. I had thought that being valedictorian of my high school class was a proud moment, but somehow watching my sister grow up and take the top spot — not just intellectually, but as someone heavily involved in campus life — was a thousand times better. My parents and I stood and clapped and cried, not caring if we looked foolish. When they handed out the diplomas, and every official and professor smiled hugely at Kait as they shook her hand, I looked down again at my program. There was a section at the end in which all of the honors students had been allowed to give recognition to one person who had inspired them, someone they looked up to. Most named celebrities, parents, grandparents. I had been feeling worthless, but that feeling dissipated as I read, next to my sister’s name, “Jason Pianiste: brother.”
Jason. Philadelphia, PA

The original MIT blog where I first read about all this can be found here.

The Twelve Ages!

Everybody is aware of the great play-wright William Shakespeare. Yeah, he was guy with a taste for literature. He wrote tons of stuff,  among which there is a poem (or rather a monologue) The Seven Ages, mentioned in As You Like It. It compares the world to a stage and life to a play, and catalogues the seven stages of a man's life: infant, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, pantaloon, and second childhood, "sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything". But hey, I think that instead of just explaining the stuff, he should have told us what exactly to do in those seven ages. Well that's what I am going to do now........

First thing first. I am not Shakespeare, so I am not going to divide the life into seven stages. I am doing something more practical, dividing it into twelve age groups, so that folks out here can easily identify themselves as a member of a specific group and follow the instructions. So behold, here are The Twelve Ages:-

Age 0 to 1 years - Get born. If you get stuck-your most likely going to become overweight in life. Be able to perform these simple steps: Eat, Sleep, Poop, Repeat!

Age 1-5 years - Learn the basics of humanity such as talking, walking, pooping in civilised places etc etc. Also learn basic human interaction skills and how to have a fit at the shopping mall in order to obtain certain candy or toys.

Age 5-10 years - Bum around. Don't really have to accomplish anything in life at this moment.

Age 10-15 years - Begin puberty and get growth spurts. If you began before this time, then good for you. Choose a class that is going to stick with you till you reach 20.  Eg. Hip-Hop, Basketball , Gaming, Book Club etc etc.

Age 15-20 years - Mature and learn the benefits of partying and ill-effects of hangover.

Age 20-25 years - More bumming around. Decide what you want to do in life but still stick to partying. 

Age 25-40 years - Get a real job instead of working at some fast food outlet. Also, find a true love (if you already have one then its excellent) and get married.

Age 40 - 50 years - Suffer mid life crisis. Keep a lookout for heart-diseases and diabetes.

Age 50 -70 years - Get old. If you are staying young, there is a problem and go see doctor. Start hating young people and begin using the phrase "back in my days". 

Age 70-80 years - Prepare to die or die. 

Age 80-100 years - Still not dead? 

100+ years - Crap, just sit there and rot slowly? Congratulations on making high score list. 

Being Street-Smart!

I read on the newspaper the other day about some guy who worked late and got robbed in a ghetto area of the town. The police then gave handy tips on how to stay safe on the streets like screaming and running etc,etc. Well I think the ideas are stupid as running away screaming like a girl (taken that you are a guy) would only make the assailant more pissed and want to kick your ass. So forget about police advice, follow my tips in beingstreet smart and you'd never have to worry about personnelsafety again.

Obviously, to avoid getting thugged, you must look and act like a thug and or gangster. Who's ever heard of terrorists blowing up other terrorists? Point proven. Looking like a thug takes a long time to perfect unless your a teenage kid who's been exposed to MTV all your life.

First and foremost is to change the way you talk. DO NOT USE correct grammar and proper English. Depending on what type of thug you want to portray, see example below:

General Thug

DO NOT SPEAK LIKE THIS: Can you please pass me all your monetary notes, and any other things of general value before I stab you with this sharp instrument I am holding. This is so I may finance the cash deficit my business is experiencing?

SPEAK LIKE THIS: Ya f%$# give me da money stuff before I skewer your ass.

Next is to make an appearance change. Ditch the business suite and/or designer brand clothes.

Instead, buy clothes 5 times your size. This is especially important if your a guy as baggy pants signify conventional pants cannot fit your "package". Try to acquire weapons such as knives or guns. If said weapons are too expensive for you, then water guns work just fine. One must also look shiny in order to blend in (this is known as bling). Wear as much shiny things as possible so when sunlight hits you, everyone within 5 metres becomes blind.

Acting is also very important in not getting mugged. When walking down the street, try to high five everyone. If your not of a ethnic minority, feel free to give racist tags to everyone around you because its fine-your a ghetto gangster now.

If however none of the above work and you are still getting mugged, dress like an Australian with accent and everything. Also carry a real huge knife. When your about to get mugged, pull out your knife and say "this is a real knife"

© HappyHoBo

Many Ways of Getting Insulted!

Yesterday night I was thinking how much I used to hate most of the teachers in my school. Not all of them, some are quite good in fact, but some of them are very much hate-able. Then all of a sudden, my thoughts wandered off to the Indian Idol show, the fifth season of which concluded a few months ago. This sudden drift of thoughts resulted in intermixing of the elements from both the scenes, and I was stuck by the idea that how much funny it would actually be if the widely-hated teachers of my school end up as judges in this show. Would be quite entertaining for the audience.

Let's Dramatize! Here is the situation:- Its the finale of the Indian Idol. However, the three regular judges have mysteriously called in sick. Out of desperation, the organizers picked up the three teachers from our school to act as judges in this finale. (I know it's a bit too much, but let's suppose they did so). Now here are the person whom they chose- 1.) Mr. S S (Chemistry teacher)      2.) Mr S N T (Physics teacher)     3.) Mr D R S (Organic Chemistry teacher and the widely hated Principal).
Now the first finalist has finished singing his song, it's time for judges to comment. Well I am already feeling pity for the finalists.

SS: "It was not that bad. But you need to increase your energy and speed. You finished that song in 2 minutes and 23 seconds, while an IIT-ian can sing the same song in exactly 1 minute 59 seconds. Your song was quite pyara (lovely) by the way. You only need to increase your energy and speed. I don't want to say this, but if you happen to sing this song in a concert in one of the IITs, they will "kick you out".

DRS: "When you sing in public, how do people react to it? Do they pay you to stop singing or do they offer you Methyl Alcohol to drink? You are totally forgettable, I wonder how you came up to the finals. I expect that you must be going to some private singing classes to increase your singing quality. No wonder, you go from home to school, school to singing classes, from there back to home, now you are too tired, so you go to sleep. By the time you wake up next morning, you have already forgotten what you learnt the previous day. Your parents must be saying to everyone that our son is so hard-working, but I assure you, You Are Simply Wasting Your Parents' Money. I would rather give this Indian Idol award to J K J then to give it to you."

SNT: "Whenever you sing, there is a change of Bhiscosity in the air around your mouth. This causes a change of the air's Bhiscous Drag. This amount of Bhiscous Drag is directly proportional to the quality of your song. So now I am going to calculate the Bhiscous Drag of your song. (A long process of calculation which involves many weird looking one-liner diagrams and copious amount of integration and subsequent differentiations.) So you can see, your song's Bhiscous Drag is bhery-bhery less. This means that your song is bhery-bhery poor."

SS: "You simply need to increase the energy and power. If you will do this your song's viscosity will automatically increase, and so will be the quality of your song. This fact is verified by the VSEPR theory of singing, and is also in accordance with Mucliber's Principle of lone pair lungs, which is made possible by imperfect shielding of your windpipe by your tongue. Putting it simply, you simply need more energy and power, energy and power, ENERGY AND POWER.........

DRS: "There is also a chemical method of increasing your song's quality. Take 55ml of Ethyl Glycol and heat it with Benzene Pthaladimide at a constant temperature of 353 kelvin for exactly 12 minutes 35 and one-fourth seconds. Then add Carpolactum to this mixture, and then exactly at the pressure of 12 atm, add 5-Ethyl-3,3-DiMethyl-5-Amino-Pent-2,2-diol. Heat this mixture at 536 kelvin at a pressure of 12.2365atm for 3 weeks. Then pour this mixture in a tub, and stand naked in it overnight under a full moon. This process is known as Rowle-Dolohov Synthesis, guaranteed to provide an excellent singing quality. The side-effects include persistent loose motions, permanent lose of sanity etc."

SS: "Personally, I think that simply increasing Energy and Speed will do the trick......."

DRS: (shouting) "DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW MORE THAN ME????? I AM THE PRINCIPAL.........I SPEND MY WEEKENDS IN LONDON.........I KNOW THE FORMULA OF SODIUM NITRO-PRUSSIDE.....I AM CORRECT......"

SNT: "Yes, alright. Calm down. Now you kid here, look, in accordance to Lenz's Law.......hey, what's that?? There is water spilling from your water-bottle on this stage. HOW DARE YOU YO SPILL WATER ON THE STAGE. YOU ARE GOING TO HELL. NO DISCIPLINE AT ALL. YOU ARE SUSPENDED."

Voice from the back of stage: "It's time for a commercial!"

[commercial].